Are you the real deal?
Where did you miss the sign that said DANGER before you took the road that would lead to betrayal?
Like Little Red Riding Hood wandering off her path?
Where did you get in deeper into the poisonous wood, ignoring your own senses that told you those scents are not of sweet berries but of deadly thorns?
What made you think that this could be it? And you wouldn’t be able to make it without? Or be less without?
Blinded by the potential of future cash flow, you ignored that your actual work wouldn’t be honoured and paid in the present. Today.
You ignored your inner warning telling you that the promise isn’t worth not getting paid today.
How much do you give away, counting on that it will come back 10 fold one day? Some day?
Even though you don’t know if that day will ever come at all?
Or, to be brutally honest – you know that day will never come.
You just couldn’t say no.
No – to those beautiful flowers, to the “maybe”, to the “what if”.
How much are you paying for marketing, ads, give-aways and so forth, believing that you first need to give in order to receive? While secretly bargaining with the Universe, being a good giver so you can be a good receiver?
And you’re draining your recourses, your accounts, your energy, because you trust promises and not your instincts?
You minimize the value of your work by giving it away, because you think you’re not there yet, you need further promotion, you need to make deals first before you become the deal?
That’s killing you. It’s killing your art. It’s killing your business.
It seems logical, but in reality it get’s you into a spiral of diminishing your self-recognition, your self-worth, because every time you give something away in order to receive money later, you prostitute yourself. You sell yourself out.
I once made a piece worth faaaar more than 750€.
I gave it away for being mentioned in a newsletter, thinking that he would actively and prominently feature my work. I counted on a higher ROI, on validation, recognition, promotion.
I got 1 sale for 99€ out of this bargain.
I lost a lot more than money.
I was blinded by the number of followers and neglected the real value of my own creation in the present.
Believe me, that wasn’t the only time I hoped for the breakthrough by making donations, presents, exchanges.
It never works when coming from a needy place, from hoping, from desperation.
You know that.
You know it’s an energy thing.
If you want to give something away, give something you didn’t plan to sell anyway.
Something you know will make people happy just for the sake of it, not counting on that they’ll ever buy from you.
Serve if you’re obsessed with serving. Create for the sake of creation. If your soul says YES. If that’s what you would do anyway no matter what.
But don’t give yourself, your services, your “thing” away counting on the same soul investment of your counterpart.
Because you will be trapped in the expectation mode and not get into the receiving state or even be on the receiving end.
And the stale taste of being ripped off will stay in your mouth forever. Even though you try to convince yourself otherwise and label it as necessary experience and paying your dues.
Be the star yourself.
The real deal.
Don’t assume the other one will pull you onto his/ her stage. They only do it if they see the advantage of it for themselves. It might sound harsh, but you know it’s true.
Even if you believe in the good in people like I do.
Mutual push and pull is good – if the other one pays you in full AND promotes you AND can be celebrated as your supporter, as the one who “discovered” you, receiving benefits as well.
It only works if you work at eye level, if you are on a level playing field.
Trust your feeling if you sense there is something wrong. Even if on the surface everything seems like a perfect match. Even if it’s only a small doubt, that you’d cannot put into words and want to push down.
Trust your own power.
Don’t compromise your integrity, your work.
Don’t go for the pretty flowers and wonder off while you’re called to deliver cake and wine (aka your message, service, products) to the ones who really need it straight away.
They don’t want the “nice to have” flowers, gifts, bargains.
They want the real deal. Now.
And trust me, they want to pay the price that’s based on your expertise, talents, your energy and everything you bring to the table.
Which might not always be in their budget. But those who see and want the value of your work, will be resourceful to make it happen for them.
That’s the ROI you want to count on.
If you give yourself the permission to be the real deal.
It’s your life. It’s your design.