In this week I would like to invite you to look “behind” friendship as a term, concept and your world of experience. Preferably without evaluation and judgment, more with curiosity and openness, what is thereby confirmed or also arises as a new insight for you.


What does friendship mean to you? Content wise and also regarding its importance?
What defines a successful friendship and in return also a failed friendship for you?

When does an acquaintance become a friendship, and what are the differences for you? How do you distinguish friendship from partnership and affair, and where do you see overlaps?

Is your partner also your friend? What makes him/her your friend or not?

With this I have some more questions to reflect on for you:

What does a friendship have to “have” for you? What values must it be based on for you?

What must it fulfill for you and what expectations do you have of a friendship?

How long does it take to win your friendship?

How can someone win your friendship the fastest / deepest / most sustainable?

What happens when your expectations are disappointed, your values are disregarded, your needs remain unfulfilled?

What value do you place above a friendship that if violated, you would give up/abandon the friendship?

What reasons would lead to you no longer being able to reconcile yourself with being friends with “this” person?When, how and why do you say goodbye to friendships because they are no longer friendships according to your definition, your needs, your values (or other reasons)?

Have you already consciously and actively ended a friendship (or several)? Which way did you go – the open discussion or the slow creeping out or just not engaging anymore?

In these specific cases (if any), what were the reasons for ending the friendship?

Have you ever had a friendship break up that you didn’t expect and that you couldn’t understand or comprehend?

Have you ever had a friendship break up that you didn’t expect and that you couldn’t understand or comprehend?

How did you deal with it and did you find a conclusion for yourself?

How (long), why and to what point do you try to save a friendship?

What have you forgiven or let a friend get away with, because he/she is your friend, that you would resent other people strongly for?
Why? For what reasons?

What is important for you,
                – in spite of all opposites,
                – because of all opposites,
                – with all opposites?

Why do you call someone a friend and what is the basis of your friendship? Is it based on common experiences, values, memories, interests, acquaintances…?

Who do you call a close friend in your life and on what do you base this classification? What is the difference for you (if there is one) to a “real” friendship?

Who is your longest-standing friend, who do you know only recently?

What makes each friendship different and its context?

Do you have different friendships in different contexts, and do your friendship circles overlap if you have more than one? Do you separate friendships by area of interest? Do your friends get along with each other?

What happens when your friends have arguments?

What feeling do you want and need to call someone a friend and invite them into your life?

Who are you friends with and why and how?

Who are you best friends with and is it the same the other way around?

How much closeness (emotional, mental, physical) do your friendships need?

Which of your friendships do you wonder about in a good sense? What about them is surprising and wonderful?

The importance of lived and cultivated friendships and lively social relationships in general becomes clear when we look at the studies that show that loneliness (including perceived loneliness) is the number one killer factor. That means it has an unfavorable impact on life expectancy even more than smoking, etc.

So if you take good care of yourself in terms of your friendships, so that you are in balance, feel a sense of belonging and support, you also support your immune system and your health in a positive sense.

If you need clarification in this regard, if you want to balance friendships or other relationships from the past, in the present or for the future and would like coaching with a systemic approach, I am happy to be of service. You can book a meeting or send me an email.

I wish you a wonderful week, in which you can enjoy your friendships and perhaps also take up the impulse to actively nurture some old and new friendships. As nearby and close as it is possible.

Book your free 30-minute appointment here:


It’s your life, it’s your design.

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